June 2009
14 posts
I got a new tumblr
http://microscope.tumblr.com/
look at the stars
you’re getting closer and closer but it was never anything to begin with.
If every surface you touch is cold, never go home
I was sitting next to you and all of the sudden wondered what the fuck I was doing.
I don’t know. I’m starting to think. Maybe you never felt anything for me.Maybe it was all for someone else. Are we even friends? Or am I just part of your help the helpless mission?
quarter life crisis
You no longer have a hold over me. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I won’t let you decide for me anymore, I won’t think of you anymore. I will still think of you, I can’t help that.. but as far as I’m concerned, I will not think of you first, or base anything around you. I’m alone and it’s a-oh-fucking-kay with me, because if I continued on, I would be alone anyways....
won't you please be mine, love?
I need to stop being so angry. I don’t really have any right to be. And maybe that’s why I’m angry.
I have no rights because I am nothing to you. Oh, well I may be something, but not something that has a right to be pissed off for your double standards.
I must just remember this: I am nothing. There is nothing. Nothing is all there is.
coming down, the world turned over
I think it was funny after my realizations last night. I don’t count on you for anything anymore. I have no expectations. There is nothing there, in my mind. Or at least that’s what I need to tell myself.
That's why she thinks it's cooler if we'd just...
you know what fucking pisses me off? you think it’s alright to speak to me and basically ignore me the whole time, but I know if I ever did that, you would freak out at me. I know you do if I don’t answer right away. now you know how it fucking feels
eventually it'll break your heart
you cannot make yourself happy this way. it will not work.
i wish i could write you beautiful words to fix it, but i can’t. i can’t fix anything
No Juliana next to my Evan
You would be so much happier without me.
divided, but I can't decide which side I'm on
When you talk about how annoying and needy his is, it makes me wonder if you feel the same way about me.
you know, are we actually friends? Or are we only “friends” because of your need to help everyone, which isn’t really friends at all, is it?
that I never really meant to stay
I think what hurts more than anything is that I can’t make you happy. I can’t cheer you up. I can’t really do much of anything. I feel so useless.
I know that to an extent, it IS my fault that I make you feel this way, and I hate it.
no goodbye
I fucking told you this would happen. I knew it all along. and I fucking said it would happen, and you said it wouldn’t, and it still did. I fucking told you.
are they laughing at you?
I hate it when you’re upset, because it makes me upset to an extent. And you really don’t care then. And it’s hard. and sometimes your words hurt, but I know you’re only saying it to help. And it helps, but it hurts.
you said goodbye, I said goodnight
you have no idea how happy it makes me when you smile
May 2009
14 posts
leave it all behind
You will never be there. Tell yourself whatever the fuck helps you sleep at night, but you will never be there. You’re too self-fucking-absorbed to pull your head out of your ass and realize that YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON ON THE PLANET.
straight up at the sun
You are so easily bent. I’m going to convince you to do things that you think are a bad idea, but want to do anyways.
I’m not talking ‘let’s make out.’
I’m talking ‘let’s get drunk… and then make out.’
I love the way you talk on top of me
I love the way that we’re never really talking about what we’re talking about
but the sun comes up instead
There’s two people I’m concerned about seeing in the fall. One because he’s going to try and date me and/or be super controlling, because that’s what he does. The other because I honestly have no idea what will happen when we see each other again.
but you don't have the sense to tie your tangled...
Or, in less poetic terms, I never know when to keep my mouth shut.
The hurt that the head forgets, the heart will...
Sometimes I wish I could shake you and tell you to stop being such a silly little boy.
when I noticed you
I just realized that flowery descriptions of love have no hold over me anymore. They seem childish.
making promises is always a mistake
We aren’t ever owned by anyone. And it’s not that you’re someone else’s, it’s just that your heart is with them.
take this lonesome brain and wash it down the...
You’re very clever indeed. But you aren’t very wise. You can’t be both.
and I won't try to run
I think that, in the long run, I would never be able to make you happy.
one look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink
I don’t know if anything will ever make me quite as happy as the song Pork And Beans by Weezer does.
if only they were clean
if only our thoughts were simple.
That's his automatic rifle and it tells no lies....
I didn’t listen to his last record the whole way through, and I don’t know that I ever will.
And it's no surprise that you'll soon forget about...
I don’t know why so many people keep writing songs about how I feel. But please, don’t stop. I don’t know if I believe that my feelings are mine enough to dictate what you do with them, let alone what I do with them.